


fruit ninja

by crunchrapsupreme



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Magical Realism, Pining, Snakes, akaashi has magic and kuroo does Not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-10
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-10-02 07:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10213073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crunchrapsupreme/pseuds/crunchrapsupreme
Summary: For a split second, he swears he’s still dreaming, but then the thing moves, turning it’s head slowly and staring straight at Kuroo, and Kuroo breaks out in a cold sweat before backing up against the wall with a thump.“Akaashi….” Kuroo whispers, keeping his eyes locked on the fuckingsnakesitting in front of him. Oh god, he’s going to die, he’s going to be swallowed whole in the middle of the night and then Akaashi is going to get swallowed whole, and it’s going to be tragic, and Bokuto is going to cry, and -The snake moves again, and Kuroo screams.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IronyPistol](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronyPistol/gifts).



> this is my gift for [Heidryn ](http://sandlessdesert.tumblr.com) !!! i tried to include two of your prompts, so I hope you like it! 8D
> 
> thank u so much to my friend Liz for looking over it and to Prince for beta'ing for me <333 ily both!!!!!!!!!!

Kuroo doesn't mind the rain. It's refreshing and cool, and he enjoys how vacant the streets get when wet. He doesn't own an umbrella, and he always catches a mild cold when he subdues himself to walking home instead of taking the bus on overcast days like today, but it's worth it.

It's hard to gain a peace of mind in this day and age, and it seems that the droplets that roll down his face and cling to his eyelashes, and the puddles that make his shoes slosh when he walks - those things keep him grounded. 

The wind picks up, and he shields his face with his hand as the pricks of ice cold water pelt his cheeks. He's lucky it's still afternoon, so the sun is illuminated through the clouds as much as it can be. Kuroo's always preferred when it rains during the day, anyways. Especially on days that his boss lets him out of work early. It's not the worst job in the world, honestly. He _enjoys_ cooking, and the restaurant itself - though smaller and more frantic than he's used to - is still pretty homey. His coworkers are nice to him, and he's in line to become head of pastries in a few months, once their current lead finally moves. 

His apartment is a pretty close walk, only about fifteen minutes, and he's already shivering by the time he turns the corner to his complex. He hopes Akaashi isn't home. He always gives Kuroo so much shit for walking home in the rain, and he gives him even _more_ shit for trailing it into the living room when he walks in the door.

Though, he's not so lucky, because the first thing he hears when he walks into the apartment is, "Kuroo, don't you dare fucking walk on this carpet."

Kuroo pouts, standing on the wooden area of the entry way. He closes the door behind him, and shakes out his hair, messy and trailing rivulets of water down his temples.

"But - ," Kuroo whines, but Akaashi cuts him off with a sigh.

"Let me get you a towel first." 

Kuroo grins, trying not to stare too much at Akaashi's legs as he walks to the linen closet. What? He can't help it. Akaashi’s literally only wearing a pair of cotton shorts that keep gently hitching up with every step he takes, and his skin looks smooth and entirely too inviting. 

Him and Akaashi met in high school, through Kuroo's best friend Bokuto, and though Bokuto decided to go off and pursue his career with volleyball and sports medicine, Akaashi decided instead to stay local and go to a university in Tokyo, which is where him and Kuroo reconnected again. They never shared a dorm throughout school, but after graduation, Kuroo was kind of at a loss, and Akaashi had briskly offered that they look for a place together, to save money until they both get more stable in their careers. Unfortunately for Kuroo, his degree has yet to land him a better job, but he can’t really say he minds. Food has always been his second passion anyways.

 Kuroo was more than happy to agree to moving in with Akaashi. Moving in with someone that he's had a colossal crush on since high school probably wasn’t the _best_ decision he could've made, but at least Kuroo's learned over the years how to tame his fucking thirst.

 That doesn't mean he can't still _look_ , though.

 Akaashi comes back to the room, all long legs and ruffled hair (it was his day off today, and Kuroo knows how Akaashi loves to sleep until four in the afternoon when he's void of any tasks or errands to run). It might be Kuroo's muddled, wet state of mind, but god, Akaashi looks exceptionally warm today.

 Except for his stare. Which is ice cold and glaring straight at Kuroo's flooded shoes, puddling all over the wood floors.

 "Honestly," Akaashi mutters, throwing a couple towels at Kuroo. "Clean yourself up before you get sick."

 "I'm probably already sick," Kuroo replies, grinning as he ruffles his hair dry, watching as Akaashi walks back over to curl up on the couch. He removes the bookmark from the novel he's reading, and Kuroo's almost tempted to ask what it's about just to hear Akaashi's annoyed sigh as he patiently explains the plot of a book Kuroo's not going to ever think twice about.

 "Have you heard from Bokuto lately?" Kuroo asks as he removes his shoes and soaks up the puddle with one of the towels. He hangs his jacket on the coat rack, and strips his shirt and jeans until he's only in his boxers, shivering as he holds his soaking wet clothes away from his body.

 Akaashi hums. "He has a game next month that he wants us to attend, so make sure you have off work so we can take the train together."

 "Aye aye, captain," Kuroo says, saluting with his dripping tee shirt and getting drops of water everywhere. Akaashi ignores him, but the corners of his lips twitch upwards so Kuroo counts it as a win.

 He gathers up the towels and wet clothes as he treks to the bathroom to hang everything up so they don't start to smell. They have a two bedroom apartment but only one bathroom, and Kuroo doesn't mind sharing the space with Akaashi, but it is oddly domestic, and Kuroo tries to push any gross domestic thoughts out of his brain when he sees their toothbrushes sitting in the same holder right next to each other.

 "Don't be _weird_ ," Kuroo mutters to himself as he drapes his shirt and jeans over the towel rack to dry.

 He checks his appearance in the mirror, and he frowns because he knows these tangles are going to be hard to get out. He's probably going to have to borrow Akaashi’s nice smelling conditioner when he showers in order to smooth out this fucking mess.

 "Akaashi, I'm using your conditioner!" Kuroo calls out as he strips out of his boxers, reaching over to turn the shower on so it can heat up. When he gets no response, he wraps a towel around his waist and heads back into the living room, and when he sees Akaashi dozing off once more, his novel held limply in his grasp, Kuroo can't help it when he smiles.

 He makes his way over, and when he flicks Akaashi on the nose, the younger man startles and his book tumbles to the floor. He blinks for a bit before promptly glaring up at Kuroo and kicking him in the shin.

 " _Ow_ ," Kuroo hisses around his voracious laughter, "You slept like, all damn day, how are you still tired?"

 Akaashi reaches down to grab his book, dog-earing it and setting it on the table. "I like to nap.”

 “Yeah, I know,” Kuroo snorts, “Can I use your conditioner? The rain made my hair all tangled.”

 “That wouldn’t have happened if you had taken the bus, or maybe even an umbrella.”

 Kuroo pouts. “Please?”

 Akaashi squints his eyes. “Fine. Only use a little bit though. It’s expensive.”

 Kuroo grins and reaches over to ruffle Akaashi’s hair in thanks, and by the time he’s headed back to the bathroom, Akaashi’s already curled back up on the couch, his eyelids fluttering shut.

 

\--

 

 Kuroo winces when he opens his eyes, the moonlight bright and shining through the blinds he forgot to close last night, and _fuck_ , he’s thirsty. He must’ve been dreaming pretty heavily because he doesn’t even remember falling asleep. His hair is going to be an ever bigger mess than usual now because he fell asleep with it still damp, but at least he got all the tangles out.

He should really get a haircut though, honestly. It’s getting a little ridiculous and a little too high maintenance for his taste. He doesn’t know how Akaashi keeps his curls looking so nice and effortlessly messy. Kuroo’s only a little jealous.

He stretches and reaches over to grab whatever sweatshirt he has lying over his chair, and he tugs it on before padding towards the kitchen. When he passes the living room, he sees Akaashi has passed out on the couch - yet again. Kuroo honestly has no clue why Akaashi even has a bed in his own room, since the couch is where Kuroo finds him most mornings.

The floorboards creak under his weight, and he tries to be quiet since Akaashi is a pretty light sleeper. The microwave says it’s about four in the morning, and Kuroo is half asleep enough that when his foot bumps against something thick and cool, it takes him a moment to even register that he should probably be concerned.

He stumbles over to the light switch, clicking it on, and when he turns around to see what nearly tripped him face first into the fridge, he merely blinks. Slowly. Once, twice.

For a split second, he swears he’s still dreaming, but then the thing _moves_ , turning it’s head slowly and staring straight at Kuroo, and Kuroo breaks out in a cold sweat before backing up against the wall with a thump.

“Akaashi….” Kuroo whispers, keeping his eyes locked on the fucking _snake_ sitting in front of him. Oh god, he’s going to die, he’s going to be swallowed whole in the middle of the night and then _Akaashi_ is going to get swallowed whole, and it’s going to be tragic, and Bokuto is going to cry, and -

The snake moves again, and Kuroo screams.

“Ohmygod, _oh my god,”_ Kuroo babbles, scrambling to hop onto the counter, even though realistically he knows this snake is probably smart enough to slither right on up. Maybe Kuroo can kick it in the face, and stun it long enough to escape and grab Akaashi. Or maybe he can throw some pans at it? Are pans heavy enough to kill a snake?

“How the fuck did you even get _in here_ ,” Kuroo wails, his body trembling as the snake’s head follows his every movement, and Kuroo can feel his eyes growing wet. He’s _terrified_ of snakes, okay? He can feel every nerve inside of him seizing up in fear. “Fuck - _Akaashi! Wake up!”_

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for Akaashi to pad into the kitchen, grumbling under his breath and squinting at the bright lights in the kitchen.

He goes to step closer, but Kuroo whines and shakes his head. “Akaashi ….. Don’t, don’t move okay? There’s a fucking - ”

“Oh,” Akaashi says, looking straight at the snake coiled on their kitchen floor. The snake perks up and whips its head around, staring straight at Akaashi, and it’s like its entire body seems to relax and unwind, his tongue flicking out curiously.

Kuroo feels like throwing up.

The snake flicks its tail, and Kuroo swallows, whispering urgently, “We have to call animal control or - fuck, or the _police_ ? Will that be powerful enough? Maybe we - _Akaashi what the fuck are you doing!”_

Akaashi’s stepping forward, and the snake unwinds itself more, slithering curiously towards him until it’s staring up at the man from his feet, and when Akaashi reaches his hand out, Kuroo nearly slips off the counter because what the _hell_.

“You’re crazy, you’re fucking _crazy, it’s going to fucking eat you_ , oh god, Akaashi, please, please _run - ”_

“Kuroo, shut up,” Akaashi mutters. “You’re going to give me a headache.”

His hand gently pats the snake’s head, and the snake’s tongue flicks out happily, getting a feel for Akaashi’s scent and warmth. The snake is not quite as large as Kuroo had first suspected, now that he looks a bit closer. It’s about five feet long, probably. A speckled yellow and white pattern colors it’s scaly skin, with two beady red eyes.

“Don’t - don’t touch it, _Akaashi_ , anacondas swallow people _whole_ , do you not fucking watch animal planet like, at _all?”_

“It’s an albino ball python, not an anaconda,” Akaashi says, crouching down so he’s eye level with the beast. Kuroo shivers. “And we’re not calling animal control.”

Kuroo blanches. “ _What?_ Why?!”

Akaashi picks up the python, and the creature slithers up until it’s curled around Akaashi’s shoulders, bumping Akaashi’s face with it’s snout almost… affectionately? Huh.

“Because, it’s relatively harmless.” Akaashi responds.

Kuroo carefully climbs off the countertop. “Relatively?”

Akaashi cocks an eyebrow. “Well, it _is_ a python.”

Kuroo takes a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face before steeling himself and darting shakily past Akaashi and out of the kitchen. “I’m going back to bed. If that thing isn’t gone when I wake up, I’m calling animal control.”

He makes sure to lock his door, and he even rolls up a few shirts and shoves them down at the crack under the door to really ensure his safety. There’s a fucking _python_ in his apartment right now, the only way he’s getting any fucking sleep is if he goes full barricade mode.

It’s only right as he’s falling asleep again that he remembers he totally forgot to grab his glass of water. Fuck.

 

\--

 

When Kuroo wakes up the next morning, the snake is still here. Namely, Akaashi is cooking breakfast, with the snake once again coiled around his shoulders. Akaashi’s bed head is something else entirely, and he’s only in his sleep shirt and boxer-briefs and Kuroo feels his chest tighten. He was entirely too terrified last night to really appreciate sleepy-Akaashi.

The snake turns its head, its beady eyes looking straight at Kuroo, and Kuroo full body shivers. The snake is glaring at him, he swears to god.

“Akaashi - ”

“We’re not calling animal control,” Akaashi says again, this time softer as he cracks an egg over the pan.

Kuroo sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Well, did you at least find out how it got into our fucking apartment? We live in the _city_ , there aren’t just - _snakes_ roaming around like stray cats.”

“His master passed away, that much I know,” Akaashi says.

“His master - oh, wait, _shit_ , is this a magic thing? Is that a magic snake?”

Akaashi breathes out a huff of laughter, rare and unguarded, and Kuroo feels himself grow warm. “He’s a familiar.”

“A who?”

“A _familiar_ ,” Akaashi repeats, cracking another egg into the pan, and Kuroo grins to himself when he sees Akaashi turn to grab two plates, for both of them. “It’s a companion that can help enhance a witch’s magic. They can also be a mediator, between non-magic species, and magic ones.”

“So…” Kuroo starts, crossing his arms nervously. “He’s _not_ going to eat me alive?”

Akaashi shoots him a look, and the snake flicks his tongue out. “Not if you don’t put me in direct danger.”

Kuroo swallows. “Uh. Right. How did he find you, anyways? We live on the second floor.”

Akaashi shrugs, and the snake flicks his tongue out in annoyance at being shifted. “I think he was drawn to my magic. I was practicing spellbinding last night after you went to bed. My energy must’ve drawn him in.”

“So is he _your_ uh… magic pet now?”

“ _Familiar_ , Kuroo, not pet,” Akaashi sighs, and then he glances at the snake on his shoulders, peering at the pan of eggs curiously. If snakes had expressions, of course. Kuroo frowns and steps a little bit closer, until he’s merely a few feet away from Akaashi and the beast.

The snake coils tighter around Akaashi’s shoulders, and Akaashi reaches for the egg carton on the counter. “How do you want your eggs?”

Kuroo sighs and moves away, sitting down at the kitchen table, trying to ignore the snake that’s apparently joining them for breakfast this morning. “Scrambled, please.”

 

\--

 

Honestly, you'd think his coworker would know how to make a goddamn _biscotti_ , of all things. Sometimes he feels like his job asks entirely too much of him, but doesn't actually give him the means to complete whatever tasks they give him. There was a huge party today, and he had to make forty parfaits and two batches of biscotti. He thought, _yea, no fuckin' problem, I'll just pass the biscotti on to my coworker, she'll whip it out in no time!_

A grave fucking mistake, really. If Kuroo has to so much as look at another piece of over-salted biscotti again, he's going to quit, he swears to god.

He sighs as he walks up the sidewalk towards the apartment, and when he opens the door, he very nearly has a heart attack when he spots the snake coiled up in a patch of sunlight on the carpet in the living room.

"I thought you were a snake, not a _cat_ ," Kuroo snorts, but his hands are still trembling slightly. It's helpful, knowing that this isn't some typical, murderous ravage snake like he originally thought, but it's still a _snake_ , magic or not. Kuroo totally has a right to still be a little wary and a lot terrified.

Akaashi's not home, unfortunately, and when he steps closer, the snake lifts his head and his gaze narrows in on Kuroo.

"Um, hi," Kuroo says, freezing in his tracks. When the snake fails to react, Kuroo slowly shuffles over to the couch where he plops down with a sigh. His entire body feels tense from work today, and the last thing he wants to do is be on guard in his own damn apartment.

"Look, if you're gonna eat me or whatever, do it now while I don't have the energy to fight back," Kuroo sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. At this point, whatever happens might as well just happen.

Kuroo jumps and screeches a bit when he feels the snake brush against his foot, and then he freezes up completely when it coils up his leg and proceeds to climb him, all the way up until he’s around his shoulders like he was with Akaashi this morning. The snake's body is cold, even though he's been basking in sunlight, and his scales feel..... kind of cool, actually?

Kuroo swallows. And then he slips his hand into his pocket, slowly, and he grabs his phone, opening up snapchat and taking a selfie with the snake around his neck, before sending it to Bokuto.

His phone rings almost immediately.

"Dude!" Bokuto screeches, and Kuroo winces before putting the phone on speaker, holding it away from his face so the voice doesn't startle the creature on him. "Did you get a fucking _snake?_ You hate snakes!"

"It's Akaashi's," Kuroo says, "It's a magic thing."

"A magic snake?" Bokuto questions, and then he laughs. "Haha, do you think he can get you a date with Akaashi?"

Kuroo's cheeks burn red, and he splutters a bit. " _What?_ Why would he do that _?"_

"Because, God knows you're too chicken to ask him yourself. Maybe the snake can be a messenger! Like, the slimiest little wing man!"

"He's not actually that slimy," Kuroo mumbles, and then he sighs. "You're right, though. I am too scared to ask him."

"Dude, you've been crushing since _high school_. I tried to wing man you guys - "

"Shoving me and Akaashi into your closet during seven minutes in heaven doesn't count. Besides, Akaashi just used some spell to weasel out of there and left me in the dark alone!"

"Yeah," Bokuto says, and Kuroo can almost see the guilty wince on his face. "I forgot Akaashi was claustrophobic."

Kuroo sighs. "It doesn't matter. I like what we have now, and I don't wanna ruin anything."

Bokuto hums over the line. "You do whatever you want, man, but I think you should go for it. Akaashi's a chill guy, no matter the outcome he wouldn't let anything like this ruin your friendship, you know?"

The snake flicks his tongue out, licking Kuroo's cheek, and Kuroo flinches. "Oh, _jesus_."

"What?"

"Nothing, just. I hope this snake isn't like, magical enough to the point that he can understand our words."

"Akaashi's taught me a lot about the realm of magic, but he never mentioned anything about being able to communicate with animals, so I think you're safe."

Kuroo groans and closes his eyes, the snake's weight a weirdly comforting presence against his shoulders and the back of his neck. He finished up his conversation with Bokuto, promising to go to his game next week with Akaashi, and right as he's hanging up, the front door swings open.

The snake is ungodly quick in his quest to slither off of Kuroo and directly towards Akaashi, and the way the lines in Akaashi's face soften at the sight of the snake is enough to make butterflies beat their wings in Kuroo's chest.

When Akaashi stands back up, the snake coiled around his arm, Kuroo has to take a second to breathe because Akaashi looks..... well, _radiant_ , is one word to describe it. Akaashi always looks good, of course, but today he looks almost, weirdly refreshed? His hair looks shinier, his skin looks clear, he's practically glowing, and there's this powerful, motivated aura around him that Kuroo doesn't need to be a witch to notice.

"You look.... different," Kuroo states lamely, and Akaashi raises an eyebrow before the corners of his lips quirk up in a small smile.

"Oh.... it seems that my magic has gotten much stronger, and I feel much less drained after performing certain tasks, ever since Banana came into  - "

Kuroo barks out a laugh. " _Banana?"_

Akaashi flushes at that, and it's cute enough that Kuroo finds himself blushing a little bit himself, and wow, _gross_. Crushes are gross.

"I didn't choose the name. I merely suggested it to him," Akaashi states, stretching his arm out so Banana can slither up to his shoulders. "He told me he didn't mind."

"He _told_ you?"

Akaashi shrugs. "I can't talk to animals, if that's what you're thinking. But familiars and witches do have an intimate connection, that helps them communicate if need be."

Kuroo feels the color drain from his face, and he glances at the snake, seeing the creature staring straight back at him, and Kuroo swears to god, if snakes could smirk, this one would be.

"Do you.... communicate with him often?" Kuroo meekly asks, rubbing the back of his neck. Akaashi clears his throat, ducking his head a bit, and Banana gently bumps Akaashi's cheek with his nose. It's kind of adorable, in a creepy way.

"He's a very good listener," Akaashi says softly, and he gently snaps his fingers, almost unconsciously. His hair ruffles slightly, and his scarf slips from his neck and hangs itself on the hook by the coat closet. Akaashi always looks so embarrassed when he does magic in front of Kuroo, like he's afraid of being judged, but Kuroo can't help but be completely amazed every time.

"Sometimes I forget you can like, _do_ stuff like that, holy shit," Kuroo breathes, and Akaashi finally lets himself smile.

He makes his way over to the couch after toeing his shoes off, and he sits close enough that their shoulders brush. The snake slithers down in order to coil up in Akaashi’s lap, and _seriously_ , this is a snake, right? Not a fucking cat? Maybe magic snakes are just…. way more cuddly, than normal snakes.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Kuroo asks, and Akaashi nods, already looking sleepy because he hasn’t gotten his nap in today.

“Do you mind, uh….” Kuroo starts, and when Akaashi glances at him and raises a brow, Kuroo laughs a bit, nodding towards the remote all the way on the other end of the coffee table. “Please?”

Akaashi rolls his eyes, but with a small glimmer of his eyes, the remote smacks Kuroo in the shoulder and lands on the couch with a thump. Kuroo winces around a grin, and presses just a bit closer to Akaashi in thanks as he switches on the television.

 

\--

 

Kuroo must’ve dozed off, because when he wakes up, he’s sprawled against the arm of the couch, curled up like a dozing feline, and he can hear Akaashi on the other end of the couch. It sounds like he’s talking to someone, and for a brief second Kuroo thinks he’s on the phone, but when he peeks his eyes open just enough to see Akaashi’s phone sitting on the coffee table, Kuroo knows who he’s really talking to.

“I know you miss her,” Akaashi murmurs, almost too quiet for Kuroo to hear. “I can feel it sometimes, your sorrow.”

Kuroo shifts a bit on the couch, but keeps his eyes closed long enough that Akaashi still thinks he’s asleep, and after a few more moments of silence, Kuroo peaks open his eye to look at the younger man, and his breath gets caught in his throat at the sight.  

Akaashi is honest-to-god glowing, a faint, fuzzy halo illuminating around his entire being. He looks content, and powerful, almost, and the snake must really be helping him with his magic, enhancing it and channeling it more than ever before. Kuroo watches as Banana flicks his tongue out, tickling the tip of Akaashi’s nose, and Akaashi flinches and scrunches his face up, a small smile gracing his face, and oh, oh _god_ , Kuroo can’t do this.

“I’m glad I remind you of her, though,” Akaashi says lowly, and Kuroo finally shifts into a sitting position, pretend-yawning and stretching a bit to make it look like he just woke up and wasn’t eavesdropping like a creep.

Akaashi shoots him a look, but he startles when Banana slithers out of his lap and straight towards Kuroo on the other end of the couch. Kuroo freezes up, his eyes widening, and he winces when Banana slides up in order to rest on his shoulders. Banana’s head nudges Kuroo’s cheek, almost aggressively, and Kuroo whimpers.

“Aw, he likes you,” Akaashi monotones, though he himself sounds a little puzzled. “I think he wants to tell you something? But... I can’t really feel what’s he’s trying to say.”

Kuroo feels nervous all of a sudden, his face growing warm, and it’s not just because of the terrifying creature currently nestled around him. He wonders if the snake actually did hear everything him and Bokuto talked about, and if the snake is capable of translating that conversation to Akaashi, oh _god_.

“He’s probably just thinkin’ about how best to go about eating me,” Kuroo says shakily, clearing his throat. The snake around his shoulders flicks his tongue out, and Kuroo shivers. “Head first, or feet first.”

“Head first would probably be most logical,” Akaashi muses.

“Don’t give him any ideas!” Kuroo hisses, and Banana loosens his hold, seeming to sense Kuroo’s unnecessary panic. If snakes could fucking laugh, this one definitely would be, Kuroo can feel it. Akaashi must feel it too, because it looks like he’s trying not to smile, and when he scoots closer and carefully lifts the snake off of Kuroo’s shoulders, the scent of his fancy conditioner mixed with his cologne makes Kuroo practically swoon.

“I need to go get him some mice tomorrow, so he can eat,” Akaashi muses quietly, and Kuroo gags.

“Please don’t make me help you feed the beast,” Kuroo manages weakly, and Akaashi only laughs.

 

\--

 

Talking to Banana has kind of become some weird sort of comfort to Kuroo, whenever Akaashi’s not home. Now that he knows the snake is magic, and that he can pretty much comprehend all of Kuroo’s woes and even offer sympathy in the form of gently headbutting his cheek when Kuroo laments for too long, it's actually kind of _nice_.

Like an armless, legless little diary for Kuroo to spill all of his secrets too.

The snake doesn’t seem interested in spilling his secrets any time soon, and though a snake is the last animal that Kuroo would call _loyal_ , he seems to at least be respectful about Kuroo’s weird confessions, and especially his woes regarding Akaashi.

“I know Bo told me to just go for it,” Kuroo sighs, dangling upside down on the couch. “But it’s so _scary_. Like, we live together, I don’t wanna make things weird, you know?”

The snake is coiled up in a patch of sunlight again, wound into a tight little yellow blob, and he peeks his head up to stare at Kuroo judgmentally.

Kuroo frowns. “Don’t look at me like that! Feelings are _hard_ , but  I guess you’re just a snake, so you wouldn’t really - ”

Banana flicks his tail in annoyance, and Kuroo holds his hands up in defense, “Right, sorry. Magic snake. Magic snake who apparently has feelings and shit.” He purses his lips. “Do all snakes have feelings?”

Banana doesn’t respond, though Kuroo wasn’t really expecting him too.

The door clicks open, and when Akaashi walks in, seeing Kuroo upside down on the couch gossiping to Banana like a teenage girl, he merely raises an eyebrow. Kuroo sticks his tongue out, but he yelps when a seeming invisible force makes him tumble to the ground gently.

Akaashi’s hiding a smile behind his hand, and Kuroo sits up, exasperated. “Hey! Isn’t there like, a rule about not being able to use magic on humans, or some shit?”

“This isn’t Harry Potter,” Akaashi rolls his eyes, but when he walks closer, he reaches out and gently ruffles Kuroo’s hair. He must be in a good mood today, because he’s hardly this affectionate normally. It’s pleasant, and warm, and Kuroo very nearly leans up into the touch. Banana slithers up to Kuroo’s lap and settles himself down, and Akaashi bites his lip on another grin. “I thought snakes and cats weren’t supposed to get along?”

Kuroo glances down, and his own eyes lock with tiny, little beady snake ones. Banana flicks his tongue out.

Kuroo flicks his tongue out right back, and tries not to grin when Akaashi laughs hard enough that he gets the hiccups.

 

\--

 

“It was so fucking dumb, I swear to god,” Kuroo says as soon as he walks in the door, kicking his shoes off and tossing his coat aside. “I’m supposed to be the lead of pastries, not a _babysitter_ . If you can’t make a fuckin’ batch of gelato after I’ve taught you _ten times_ then I just don’t - ”

He pauses his rant when he sees Akaashi sitting cross legged on the couch, his eyes mysteriously red and wet, and Banana is coiled around one of Akaashi’s arms, staring blankly at Kuroo as he walks closer.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Kuroo asks, suddenly concerned as he forgets all about his shit coworker, his attention focused solely on Akaashi. He kneels in front of the couch, and Akaashi clears his throat and scrubs at his eyes with his arm.

“It’s nothing, I’m just - ”

Banana clurls his tail around Kuroo’s wrist, and tugs him forward, hard enough that Kuroo has to brace a hand on the couch cushion for support lest he fall right into Akaashi’s lap.

“Ah,” Kuroo breathes, trying to will the heat in his face to subside as he stares up at Akaashi, and god, even post-crying, teary-eyed Akaashi is beautiful, the rouge high on his cheekbones bringing out the rich color of his eyes.

Akaashi stiffens and avoids Kuroo’s gaze completely when Kuroo’s hand brushes his knee, and Kuroo’s stomach sinks suddenly, thinking this is _it_ . The stupid fucking snake must’ve finally told Akaashi about his feelings or something, and now Akaashi is probably uncomfortable, and their friendship is ruined, oh god. Stupid fucking magic snake, that fucking _weasel -_

“Fuck,” Akaashi mumbles, sighing deeply, and Banana slithers off of Akaashi’s arm, back towards the other end of the couch as Akaashi pulls his knees up to his chest. “Kuroo, I need to tell you something.”

Kuroo remains crouched on the floor, staring up at the other man seated on the couch. He looks weary and hesitant, and Kuroo swallows thickly, preparing for the blow he’s been trying to avoid for fucking years.

Akaashi takes in a breath. “Kuroo, I - um. I like you, okay?”

Wait _what?_

“Wait, what?” Kuroo wheezes out, and he looks over to the snake suddenly, seeing his normal, mundane stare. “Did the snake - ”

“He’s been terrifyingly persistent, for some reason,” Akaashi manages, rubbing the back of his neck. “He said he couldn’t fully access my aura with the strain of the suppressed feelings I was holding for you, and he…. Um. He basically told me he couldn’t fully become my familiar unless I completely opened my magic to him, emotionally and otherwise.”

“And… confessing to me would help you do that?” Kuroo says weakly, still trying to grasp what the _fuck_ is going on.

Akaashi frowns. “No, actually. I researched it. Banana lied to me.” And then Akaashi sighs, and runs a hand over his face. “But he was partially helpful. I do feel a lot better. Though, I understand if you want to move out or something.”

Kuroo stands up on his knees suddenly, crowding closer to Akaashi and placing his hands shakily on the other man’s knees. “Move ou - _Akaashi_ , no. I thought - ”

And then Kuroo is laughing, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Akaashi’s knees, still pulled up against the man’s chest. “I thought Banana told you about _my_ feelings for _you_ . I thought _you_ were going to move out and leave.”

“Your feelings for me?” Akaashi asks, voice sounding much smaller than normal, and Kuroo pulls back, standing up in order to sit next to Akaashi on the couch. Banana watches the entire exchange from his coiled up position on the other end, and Kuroo shoots him an exasperated look before turning his attention back to Akaashi.

“I like you too,” he says, and _god,_ it feels good to say out loud. Bokuto’s probably going to tease him relentlessly about the fact that Akaashi was technically the one to confess first, but Kuroo couldn’t give two shits because holy fuck Akaashi _likes him back_ . “I like you so fucking much, holy shit. I’ve liked you since _high school_.”

“You… really?” Akaashi asks, furrowing his eyebrows, and his lips look pink and pouty, bitten and red from his crying earlier, and oh, that reminds Kuroo.

“Hey, why were you crying earlier, anyways?”

Akaashi turns red. “I was frustrated at Banana for lying to me, and then frustrated at myself for not trusting that you wouldn’t freak out, if you did happen to reject me. I was worried I would ruin our friendship.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation,” Kuroo starts, finally letting himself reach forward and swipe his thumb underneath Akaashi’s eye, brushing away the stray wetness there. “You haven’t ruined anything at all.”

Akaashi breathes out a deep, full bodied sigh, and when he turns to Kuroo his lips part slightly, his body angling forward as he unbends his knees, and the coffee table rattles gently when Kuroo finally grins and brings their lips together in a kiss. The air around them feels charged with some sort of energy, and when Akaashi makes a quiet noise into Kuroo’s mouth, the cup sitting on the table knocks itself over.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Kuroo chuckles nervously, and Akaashi bites his lip on a smile.

“Sorry, I’m a little overwhelmed.”

“S’okay,” Kuroo says. “Kiss me again?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Kuroo can see Banana slithering off the couch, probably fed up with the shit he’s had to deal with between the two for the past few weeks, and Kuroo can’t help but express his small form of gratitude towards the beast. Snakes are still fucking scary as hell, but. Banana isn’t so bad.

Kuroo jumps in surprise when Akaashi slides into his lap, and he’s wearing those damn sleep shorts again, the ones that ride up with every shift of movement, and Kuroo lets himself indulge, placing his hands on the sides of Akaashi’s warm thighs, squeezing gently as the other man leans forward for another kiss. He tastes like jasmine tea, and Kuroo makes a pleased noise when Akaashi runs his long fingers through Kuroo’s hair.

Akaashi’s body is practically _thrumming_ , and sometimes Kuroo forgets how much power is really in his lithe form. He pulls back, and his hair is messy, falling against his forehead in gentle curls, and when Kuroo reaches a hand up to tuck a lock behind his ear like in all of those romance movies he’s obsessed with, the cup on the table shakes and rolls completely off and onto the carpet with a _thump_.

“That... doesn’t normally happen when I kiss people,” Akaashi mutters when Kuroo laughs loudly,

“It’s okay,” Kuroo says, cupping Akaashi’s face with both of his hands. “It’s cute. Just try not to break anything, okay?”

Akaashi huffs out a laugh, and Banana watches them, pleased, as Kuroo tugs Akaashi back down to press their lips together once more, because it’s definitely long overdue. Luckily now, they have all the time in the world to make up for it.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me!! [twitter](https://twitter.com/wecametofuck) & [tumblr](https://crunchrapsupreme.tumblr.com)


End file.
